Ok, you know, it happened even before, you passed already threw it. Every time it was awful, even though happened the end of terrible relationship. It’s even worse if you were left, without a warning and acceptable explanation. You ask yourself what you did wrong. Experiences of experts while working with women whose hearts were broke are full of feeling guilty. Asking questions about their mistakes. What could they do to keep their partner. That’s why we have this suggestion for broken hearts:
Don’t think that you are the problem
Simply, don’t allow yourself that guilty, regret and exaggeration of all things you could do, but didn’t. All things you did, but you shouldn’t do eat yourself. There were two of you in that relationship, can’t you remember? It’s simply not possible that all responsibility and guilty are yours. That you had that power to save this relationship even though he didn’t want that. Because, if he left you, than he wanted to go, he had his reasons which are perfectly logical and valid for him.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t accept those reasons. You’re just trying to dig something deeper and find something to accuse yourself for everything that happened. You’re not a problem, but neither he is. There were problems in your relationship which you couldn’t solve and this connection is over. With some other partners maybe won’t be those problems, but there will be others. Problems always exist and nothing could be perfect after broke up, just with some guys you can solve them and with others you can’t.
You can take control over your life
You should investigate life, that’s your possibility after broken relationship. Maybe you will be lack of will, but when you find something that you are really into, a will will come. You will find some new interesting hobby, social activity, dance lessons or any other kind of training which you didn’t do until that moment. You can’t control situation and change what happened, but you can change your reactions and acting on constructive and healthy way. Maybe you have to show some effort, but it will pay off and you will become satisfied with yourself again.
Practice gratitude, it’s very healthy
The gratitude is fabulous weapon for the fight against broken heart after broke up. When you feel worst and like you’re on the edge, recapitulation of all good things in your life, because of which you should be grateful, might make a big difference. That way you want sink into self-pity and dispiritedness, because you will remind yourself why is worth to live. Broken heart will compile and recover, but feeling gratitude spreads its capacities. When you succeed to be grateful, because of new experiences that you had in that previous relationship, because of all you shared with your ex-partner and all you learned in that period, than you will be completely recovered.
Understand the broke up like a chance to have a good time – with yourself
Maybe you won’t be happy about this suggestion. You might think that you feel lonely and vulnerable however. And what now? A chance? You didn’t want that chance. But true is that you invested all your free time into that relationship, you were around him most of the time, you were adapting to his life style even so much that you unconsciously neglected your life. What do you really like to do?
When did you last time spend all day lazing in pajamas, without any obligations to put a make-up on and go out to meet your boyfriend, or to welcome him at your place and then focus on him. When you last spent the whole day putting masks on your face, depilate and spending hours in the bath while not thinking about time? You will recover that feeling self-satisfaction, enjoy in yourself. Complete relaxation when you start doing what you didn’t have time to do while you were in relationship. This is a good way to become “you” instead of “we”.
It’s completely fine to feel like you do
You will confront with mixed feelings. As time is passing, those feelings might become even more contradictory. Sometimes you will be happy that you get rid of your ex that you don’t have all those problems which you had in relationship. That you don’t have to explain anything to anyone, but sometimes you will feel horrible because you are not anymore a half of the pair. You don’t belong to anyone but to yourself. That’s fine. The best you can do for yourself is to accept your feelings, to give yourself some time and space to feel like you do. That’s a good way to become yours again and find new meanings of “be yourself”.