Instead of becoming desperate, doubting love, insulting, abandoning and silent, waiting for him to understand and regret, there are constructive reactions when you’re faced with the fact that your partner suddenly hurt you, and you can t possibly predict that something like that is possible.
You need to cry
Give to your emotions a vent. It will not change them, but you need to allow yourself to be weak and broken and to express it in the most natural way – cry, throw everything out threw the tears.
Occupy your mind with something
Be busy, do something. Don’t allow yourself to sit and think all the time, it can be very dangerous. You should deal with your everyday life; do what calms you, whatever it is – let your hands be occupied, so you will feel functional and effective, no matter how much you are hurt.
Don’t reconsider too much
Why did he do it, how did I deserve it? Why is this happening to me? How did I get it? What I haven’t done and I should? Have I done something what I shouldn’t? All these questions have answers, but you will not find them so easily. You will just be sad for nothing. This won’t change anything, especially the fact that he hurt you, just as consequences which you have to face. Be aware of yourself, be who you are, be sure that you can handle with everything that follows.
Don’t be alone, look for support
Your friends are there for you. In moments when you need understanding and emotional support, search for it, don’t close yourself off and think that you don’t want to bother your friends because they also have their own problems. It will not be a problem for them, they love you and want to help you. Allow them to do everything for you what is necessary, allow yourself to be satisfied with their concern and love . Having such friends is really unbelievably beautiful.
Remember the warning signs you ignored
It is true that what he did and how he hurt you so badly was not like a thunder from the clear sky, but you ignored the warning signs. Accept it. Reconsider it. In facts, you will find a part of your responsibility for what happened, as well as his part on which you could never influence. Each of you two had chosen something to hide, miss and ignore – communication is what has fallen on the exam of love. Will you repeat your exams?
Listen to what he has to say
His defense and reasons are valid for him, but those might be just excuses. Listen to him, don’t reprobate him, just listen carefully and absorb. Under the surface, maybe arrogant defense, might be right reasons and he will come to them if you let him tell you everything he has. Even if he doesn’t want to say whatever he has, you can find out by yourself what is really going on, if you listen to him carefully.
Remind yourself that you don’t deserve that – otherwise You will get hurt once
But maybe it is what you needed, to gather yourself, to see your position and orient to your needs. If that slap was necessary to start thinking about yourself, self respect and self loving, than he made a favor to you. If you really started to communicate just after the catastrophe, maybe what happened is the best. Maybe it’s really worth to keep your relationship and upgrade it. Stay open for all the possibilities and choose the one that suits yours value and what you are able to do about it.